


Zxcvbnm the Magic Pony

by Elaeda



Series: Trash Series [3]
Category: 9 (2009), G-Force (2009), The Brave Little Toaster (1987), どうぶつの森 | Animal Crossing Series
Genre: Gen, yet another old fanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-18 00:26:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 2,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13670454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elaeda/pseuds/Elaeda
Summary: Part three of my absolute mess of a series.  Don't read it if you want a serious fanfiction.  It's not.





	1. The Easiest Job in the World

Flicker : No plot.  
Felicity: No sense.  
Riveris: Script only.  
Rosie: FINAL DESTINATION.  
Chapter 1: The easiest job in the world  
Creepy French pineapple: Vous crétins! Vous avez parlé avant que la carte chapitre!  
Rosie: Shut up.  
Felicity : Guys~  
Flicker : AUGH !  
Candy : Why are you French ?  
Creepy Pineapple: OUI!  
Clementine: *Face palm*  
Apple: HI MISTER ROBIN!  
Robin: *Impales Apple in the eye* SQWAK!  
Apple: AUGHHHHHH!!! MY EYE!  
Bob: Hello.  
Apple: Shut up, you lazy manatee!  
Rosie: Bob’s not a manatee.  
Felicity: …  
Clementine: Guys?  
Rosie: WHAT?!  
Quite: I think we are potatoes.  
Asdfghjkl: NO DUMBONES.  
Rosie: … What?  
Toaster: GUYS! I HAVE AN IDEA.  
Felicity: Yes?  
Toaster: LET’S GO TO WAL-MART.  
Bob: No.  
Flicker: Yes.  
3: Sure.  
4: Whatever.  
CFP: Oui.  
Rosie: Fine.  
*Later*  
Toaster: YAY! WAL-MART!  
Candy: This has gotten pathetic!  
Rosie: Shut up.  
Flicker: She’s right.  
Rosie: Hey, where’s Riveris?  
Riveris: Hi guys.  
Rosie: AUGH! Where’d you come from?  
Riveris: I’m the narrator! I spawned here!  
Rosie: Oh.  
3: Hi Riv.  
4: Are you going to kill us?  
Riveris: Nope. Just came to tell you miss is back with her leader-  
Toaster: SHE HAS SOMEONE MORE EVIL THAN HER?!  
Riveris: Yes. The leaders name is Luck.  
Felicity: Luck? That’s a terrible name! Her parents should be charged with child abuse.  
Rosie: What about that kid named Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116?  
Toaster: …  
Riveris: … Well, anyways, Luck is going to kill us all.  
3: But YOU’RE the narrator!  
4: You control everyone, and to a certain extent, us! Can’t you just make them combust or something?!  
Riveris: I’m sorry, I can’t.  
Flicker: Why?  
Riveris: They… Aren’t made by me. They exist on their own terms.   
Felicity: Then why are they here?!  
Riveris: Because. They strive to make lives miserable. Luck, the leader, rules anyone she can get her hands on.  
Bob: Does this mean we just have to get away from her?  
Riveris: Well-  
Daniel: GUYS.  
Rosie: *Sigh*WHAT?  
Daniel: I HAD AN EPIHANY.  
Candy: OMG TELL ME.  
Daniel: Potatoes have skin. We have skin. Thus, we are potatoes.  
Quite: Yay.  
Rosie: *Gasp* QUITE WAS RIGHT!  
Candy: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY- *Boom*  
Riveris: That wasn’t me.


	2. I ran out of chapter titles

Luck: *Glare*  
Felicity: She’s creepy.  
Rosie: How long has she been here?  
Flicker: 12 minutes and 45 seconds.  
CFP: Oui.  
Rosie: shut up you freaky spiny fruit.  
Quite: POPTARTS!  
Luck: WHAT ARE YOU DOING! THAT’S BAD! You should be ashamed of yourself and go to the dungeon and you can’t do that it’s demented and stupid why am I with you guys anyways. Oh, that’s right, I hate you, that’s why I’m here!  
Rosie: …  
Flicker: I think my self-esteem just got mutilated, pushed off a cliff, and drowned in the mud while people kicked it.  
Toaster: That puts it well.  
Luck: BE QUIET ALL OF YOU!  
Candy: SHUT UP YOU STUPID LEPRECHAUN!  
Luck: …. What did you say?  
Candy: Umm… Moo!  
Luck: HOW DARE YOU SAY “MOO”? YOU MUST BE PUNISHED! *Uses generic dark powers to get rid of Candy*  
Olive: OH MY SURFBOARD IN JAPAN!  
Rosie: What was that for?!  
Flicker: … Oh my…  
Rosie: Luck, did you know you just KILLED Candy?!  
Luck: That was my intention. Now MIND YOUR OWN BUISNESS!  
Riveris: This is my entire fault.  
Rosie: Why?  
Riveris: Hold on, let me switch to a new chapter…


	3. Exposition

Riveris: There. It’s because I let them do this to my mind. They’re here because I let them.  
Felicity: Well, how can we stop them?!  
Riveris: … We must destroy them.   
Rosie: Is that all?  
Riveris: no. It gets much more complicated than that, and you guys couldn’t do the rest. And I can’t, because it’s illegal.  
Flicker: Can Candy come back?  
Riveris: .. No.  
Rosie: What?! Why?!  
Riveris: THE GENERIC DARK POWERS GOT RID OF HER, THAT’S WHY!  
Flicker: … I miss her annoying antics already.  
Rosie: I know right?  
Apple: I HATE YOU, YOU HATE ME, LUCK’S A STUPID MANATEE- *Gets destroyed by generic dark powers*  
Felicity: Augh!  
Rosie: At this point, we’re going to lose the whole cast!  
Dora: What do YOU think we should do?  
*Awkward silence*  
Dora: Great idea! *Explodes*  
Katniss: PEETA! *Is killed by dark powers*  
Olive: She can survive a whole city trying to kill her, but she can’t survive a moronic lady named after a good thing *You get the drill, destroyed by dark powers*  
Flicker: I know this sounds odd, but right now I’m on the verge of a mental breakdown.  
Quite: Nom. *Eats self*  
Rosie:… Seriously?!


	4. More deaths

Daniel: OH WOW CANDY AND APPLE AND OLIVE AND KATNISS ARE STILL DEAD.  
Riveris: OF COURSE THEY ARE STILL DEAD!  
Flicker: I don’t want to die.  
Sandwich: Hey guys I’m back!  
6: … Were you even in the second book?  
Sandwich: I dunno. But whatever! WHAT’S UP?  
Flicker: Candy’s dead.  
Sandwich: Noooooo.  
Flicker: And your phone broke.  
Sandwich: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
Oz: Meh. *Destroyed by…. Well guess*  
Sadwich: OZ NO! Oh Flicker, tell me he’ll come back!  
Flicker: He’s dead, Dave.  
Peeta: AUGH! *Destroyed*  
Flicker: …  
Rosie: … Where did the fly come from?  
Felicity: what fly?  
Rosie: *Kills fly* Oh never mind, It’s dead now.  
Darwin: OH MY CELERY YOU KILLED MOOCH!   
Riveris: Well, mister guinea pig, your little friend will come back soon. Maybe. *Notices dark powers sneaking up on Darwin* You, on the other hand, will not.  
Darwin: What? Why- *Destroyed*  
Nunu: LOL  
Rosie: Shut up.  
Flicker: Why would the fly come back anyways?  
Riveris: If you aren’t destroyed by the dark powers, you come back no matter how many times you die.  
Flicker: How insightful.  
Felicity: Well now what?  
Daniel: OMG LUCK IS COMING THIS WAY.  
Rosie: Celery.  
3: … Um…  
4: A lot happened while we were gone, right?  
Riveris: Yes. Candy, a mad guinea pig, Katniss, Olive, and a few others were all destroyed by evil generic dark powers that kill you forever.  
3: Um… Well…  
4: That sucks. 3, why don’t we-  
Radio: HEY LISTEN TO THIS- *Destroyed*  
Toaster: Oh crust!  
Luck: Muhahahahahahaha!  
Miss: Oh hi there again!  
Toaster: Double crust.  
9: Nooooooooooooooooooooo.


	5. Even More Deaths apparently yikes

*Plenty of people are destroyed*  
Rosie: Well ship.  
Luck: *Glare*  
Flicker: Does that lady have anything better to do?  
Felicity: I guess not.  
Toaster: Riveris, is there ANYTHING we can do?!  
Riveris: I’m afraid not.  
3: maybe we should soul suck her.  
4: It might work.  
9: Let me do it!   
Riveris: NO 9 DON’T-  
*9 fails to soul suck Luck*  
Luck: hahahahaha! Now I shall destroy you!  
7: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. *jumps between Luck and 9, being destroyed by the powers*  
9:… Meh.  
Rosie: 9, WHY DIDN’T YOU CARE?!  
CFP: Oui!  
Felicity: SHUT UP PINEAPPLE! *Kicks pineapple*  
CFP: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon! *Flies into distance*  
Daniel: What.  
Vexx: Rawr.  
Flicker: I am annoyed.  
Riveris: It’s okay, I am too.  
2: No, I’M 2!  
Riveris: Shut up.


	6. Hey remember how I tagged this as a G Force fic

Mooch: *Incoherent noises*  
Riveris: See? I told that stupid pig his friend would come back.  
Rosie: This thing is no use. *Tries to squish Mooch*  
Daniel: Nooooo don’t squish it, It’s alive!  
Rosie: IT WON’T BE ALIVE FOR LONG!  
Riveris: Calm down everyone!  
Flicker: WHY DO I HANG AROUND WITH YOU GUYS?  
Kaitlyn: I AM NOT A SPAZ!  
1: YES YOU ARE.  
R: No, I’M R. *Destroyed*  
1: OMG.  
Vexx: RAWR.  
Rosie: SIT STILL SO I CAN KILL YOU YOU STUPID INSECT!  
Riveris: Rosie, please stop trying to mutilate this secret spy.  
Rosie: It’s a secret spy? THAT GIVES ME MORE REASONS TO KILL IT.  
Riveris: …Why?  
Rosie: FELICITY WAS KILLED BY A SECRET SPY.  
Felicity: But I’m right here.  
Rosie: … oh.  
Lacey: TNOP.  
Boo: Meme!  
Felicity: …  
CFP: Oui!  
Rosie: Shut up.  
Riveris: Um, guys?  
Clementine: Yes?  
Luck: YES?  
Riveris: I was going to tell you Luck was coming, but I guess she already made that known.  
Luck: LOL.


	7. Pitifully short chapter

Toaster: This makes no sense.  
Lacey: TNOP.  
Toaster: NONSENSE.  
Flicker: This is weird.  
Larry: BAGEL- *Destroyed*  
Rosie: FINALLY HE’S DEAD.  
Mooch: *Incoherent noises*  
Felicity: You don’t say.  
Quite: Potatoes.  
Flicker: How insightful.  
Daniel: This is FILLER.  
Rosie: Shut up.


	8. I'm hungry

Rosie: That was a stupidly short chapter.  
Toaster: I am CRAZY.  
Flicker: That was a stupid idea.  
Felicity: What was?  
Flicker: Candy calling Luck a stupid leprechaun.  
Rosie: Oh.  
Toaster: on the subject, who’s dead now?  
Rosie: Larry, Katniss, Peeta, Candy, the stupid guinea pig, R, Apple, Olive, and Oz.  
Riveris: Hey! I’m the person saying that! And you-  
9: YOU FORGOT 7 YOU HYPOCRITE.  
Rosie: Oops.  
Flicker: Rosie you moron.  
Felicity: Fuuuu  
Flicker: What?  
CFP: BONJOUR!!  
Riveris: Well this is great.  
Tony the tiger: THEY’RRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE GREAT- *Destroyed*  
Riveris: WE JUST LOST A CEREAL MASCOT.  
Rosie: OH MY GOSH!  
Daniel: What?  
Rosie: We’re almost at the end and we haven’t defeated Luck yet!  
Daniel: OH MY.  
Riveris: Fu.  
LittleFoot: I HAVE AN IDEA.  
Rosie: What?  
LittleFoot: LET’S ALL REMAIN FRIENDS.  
Toaster: But we were never friends in the first place.  
LittleFoot: WE ARE! *Destroyed*  
Rosie: Well that puts an end to the excessive amount of sequels that guy spawns.  
Pencil: pencil! *Destroyed*  
Riveris: Well that was unexpected.  
Flicker: and random.  
Bob: AUSTRALIA.  
Felicity: AUSTRIA BOB.  
Toaster: Hey.  
3: Dude.  
4: What if we don’t destroy Luck by the end of this book.  
Riveris: Then all of you guys die.  
Everyone: WHAT?!  
Rosie: Why aren’t YOU included?  
Riveris: Because I have a free will. I’m real. You guys don’t really exist.  
Everyone: *LE GASP*  
Felicity:…  
Watermelon: YOU LIED TO US!!  
Riveris: Lied to you about what? Also, WHO THE HECK ARE YOU!?  
Avocado: I’M A BANANA!  
Riveris: No, you are an Avocado.  
Avocado: No! I’M A- *Destroyed*  
Watermelon: Augh! *Destroyed*  
Riveris: Crust.  
Toaster: Hey!  
K: YOU MORON RIVERIS. WHY CAN’T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT?!  
S: HEY RIV LET’S HUG YOU.  
E: OR LET’S JUST GET UNCOMFORTABALLY CLOSE.  
Riveris: Leave me alone you moronic real life representations of my problems. Or just reincarnations of people who annoy me.  
Toaster: So you’re spawning people who annoy you into this so you could somehow send them a message?  
Riveris: Yes.  
Felicity: Shush you can’t you see I’m eating?  
Flicker: eating what?  
9: A potato?  
Felicity: No, a watermelon.  
Potato: OMG.  
Celery: YOU KILLED WATERMELON.  
S: LOLOLOLOL RIVERIS YOU ARE SO FUNNY AND CREEPY AT THE SAME TIME- *Destroyed*  
Riveris: I am quite glad that happened.  
E: Lol. *Destroyed*  
K: RAH YOU SUCK RIVERIS. *Destroyed*  
Riveris: Ha.  
Flicker: interesting.  
CFP: OUI!  
Felicity: Augh why.


	9. Our Darkest Hour (Or something dramatic like that)

Riveris: Welp. It’s over. We’re all doomed.  
Rosie: Not you. Your real. We aren’t.  
Flicker: I miss Candy.  
9: And this chapter was supposed to be about me.  
3: And-  
4: We’re incredibly bored.  
Riveris: I’m sorry. I’ve dragged everyone into this huge mess and chances are I’m boring the few people who actually read this. I’m a failure.  
Toaster: No you’re not!  
Riveris: DON’T PEP TALK ME YOU… APPLIANCE!  
3: that was awkward.  
Flicker: I’m surrounded by idiots.  
4: Am I an idiot, Flicker?  
Flicker: No. But you are if you die on me.  
9: IT’S ALL ABOUT-  
Rosie: SHUT UP!  
9: Sorry, sheesh.  
6: Hi guys!  
Luck: *Glare*  
6: Gah.  
Rosie: Oh hey she didn’t kill you.  
Felicity: Why?  
6: Because I’m special.  
Rosie: WHY?  
6: If she kills one more of us, then we’ll be “defeated” and she’ll leave.  
Riveris: Really?!  
6: Yep!  
Flicker: Oh. So we were worrying for nothing.  
Sandwich: But who will be sacrificed?!  
Rosie: Someone annoying. Like-  
Mia: HEY GUYS!  
Riveris: Perfect!  
Mia: What?  
*TRANSITSION*  
Mia: What are you doing? And why am I tied up?  
Rosie: Oh Luck~  
Luck: What is it you unrealistic blue oversized head furry?  
Rosie: … umm…  
Mia: Luck?! Who names their kid LUCK?! You! Luck person! I DEMAND YOU TO UNTIE ME RIGHT AGHHHHHHHHSHDUHSUDIHUIH- *Destroyed*  
Luck:… *Vanishes* I SHALL BE BACK!  
Rosie: …  
Riveris: She’s… gone!  
Felicity: Yep.  
Toaster: Gone.  
Flicker: I add something to this conversation.  
6: … YAAAAAAAAY.  
Everyone: YAY!  
Rosie: I lived!  
Riveris: And even though we lost some people, Like K, E, S, Apple, Olive, 7, Larry, Mia, Watermelon, Avocado, Little Foot, Darwin, R, Oz, Katniss, Peeta, Radio, and Candy-


	10. The finale (For about 10 minutes)

Candy: HEY GUYS I’M BACK!  
Riveris: What.  
Candy: I JUST SAID-  
Flicker: She heard you the first time.  
Candy: Oh.  
Flicker: How are you alive?  
Candy: I… I DEFIED LOGIC!  
Felicity: Wait, then how…  
Candy: Oh, that’s taken care of.  
*SOMEWHERE ELSE*  
Daffy: Also, I- *Destroyed*  
Luck: MUHAHAHAHAHA!  
*BACK TO THE CAST*  
6: Well, okay then.  
Rosie: This is cool.  
Flicker: I can’t believe I’d say this, but I missed you, Candy.  
Candy: Yay!  
Flicker: But you are still unbearably annoying.  
Candy: Aw.  
Over 9000 LOL cats: MEOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW.  
3: !!!  
4: Crust!  
3: THEY’RE AFTER US!  
4: RUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!  
Riveris: … Who made that happen? I didn’t cause that.  
Evil Clown in Alaska: HAHA.  
Riveris: Oh. That explains a lot.  
Flicker: I hope they’re alright.  
Riveris: They’ll be FINE.  
3: GUYS! RIVERIS!  
4: WE’RE NOT FINE!  
3: PLEASE!  
4: HELP US!  
Riveris: Augh. NO!  
3: Riveris!  
4: You’re mean!  
Riveris: I’m not mean! I just like feeling sad for you!  
3: Oh.  
4: Good point. Sorry!  
Riveris: Okay!  
Rosie: Well, this is going to have to end.  
Flicker: yes.  
Rosie: Well, Riv, are ya gonna end us off?  
Riveris: In style.  
Rosie: You never like giving us slack, do you?  
Riveris: Nope. Now say goodbye!  
Rosie: NO WAIT NOT YE-  
*BOOM*  
CFP: OUI!  
Felicity: Shut up.  
Candy: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *Explodes*  
Flicker: Typical.  
Zxcvbnm: Hey, I wasn’t in this at all-

END


End file.
